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Truth In Satire

60 Million Democrats Sign On To New Year’s Eve Suicide Pact

“This should put to rest any doubts about the unity of our party in the aftermath of the election,” said Senator Chuck Schumer

Allan Ishac

Dec 21, 2016·3 min read

First word of a suicide pact filtered through the floor of New York’s Javits Center the night of the election, once the outcome was clear. Paula Lombardi (second from right, dark glasses) mentioned the idea in a weak moment to Democratic strategist Mark Wagner (far right), and from there the idea of eternal relief spread like wildfire.

Responding to accusations that the Democratic party is divided and directionless after Hillary…