Truth In Satire

20 Logical Explanations For Why Donald Trump Keeps Promoting His Unqualified Son-In-Law

“Someday you’ll be like me, hated for having everything handed to you.” (Photo Credit: CNN.com)

Why is President Trump giving his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, more influence and power in his administration, despite the fact that the young Pharisee is unproven, undeserving, and has no experience?

Here’s why:

1. Because Ivanka told her father, “no carrot for Jared, no cha-cha for papa.”
2. President Trump owes the Kushner family $2.5 billion in delinquent dowry payments.
3. It makes Steve Bannon’s facial pustules explode, which always sends the president into peals of laughter.
4. The Jews promised enormous contributions to the Trump Foundation if Jared was groomed to be the first kosher president.
5. It really pisses off the despised double-spawn, Eric and Donnie Jr.
6. Jared Kushner’s real name is Anatoly Putin (I know, can you believe it?!).
7. President Trump keeps hoping that when he sends Jared over to Iraq as his “top man” to “check on the troops” there might be an “accident,” leaving Ivanka in need of “comfort.”
8. Jared promised the president “dimple lessons” with every promotion he receives.
9. When the Russian palace of poop finally…