Truth In Satire

17 Signs That The President’s Marriage To Melania Is Over

#1. He’s wearing his favorite pick-up tie again…

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These two may be headed for Splitsville. (Credit:

here is only so much a woman can take and it appears that Melania Trump has reached the breaking point.

Here are 17 reliable signs that the First Couple is about to split-up and may be headed for divorce:

#1. He has started wearing his favorite pick-up tie again.

#2. Mr. Trump is no longer bothering to hold his wife’s hand in public and Melania’s no longer bothering to slap his tiny paws away.

#3. They’ve canceled plans for a June ceremony to renew their wedding vows.

#4. The president has informed Melania that in the event of a nuclear attack she should let Ivanka reach the underground bunker first.

#5. Based on the millions he’s been paying in hush money, Melania suspects her husband might be having an affair.

#6. The First Lady is openly using her husband as the poster child for her online anti-bullying campaign, displaying his photograph along with the words, “Don’t be a scrotus POTUS, be a sweeter tweeter.”

#7. The president has put Stormy Daniel’s phone number back on speed dial.

#8. Mr. Trump regularly forgets the name of his youngest child, the only one he had with Melania.

#9. The First Lady has been spotted out shopping with Michelle Obama and often spends the night in the Obama’s Georgetown guest bedroom.

#10. The president has asked his military advisors if it’s possible to “bomb the shit out of Slovenia without pissing off Vlad or telling Melania?”

#11. Friends say the two aren’t as giggly or playful with each other as they used to be.

#12. Mrs. Trump has told the couple’s therapist that she no longer feels “Donald is serious about working on the relationship.”

#13. The president is bringing loose women back to the White House at night with no regard for Melania sleeping in the next room.

#14. President Trump has been racing out to Air Force One in the middle of the day without telling her where he’s going.

#15. Melania has shared with friends that“Donald doesn’t seem to care about my wants or needs anymore — he spends all of his time on social media or playing video games.”

#16. Mrs. Trump has complained to staff that the president is no longer interested in joining her for Wednesday bowling nights in the White House basement.

#17. Mailorder bride catalogs have begun showing up in the president’s private mailbox again.


Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.


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