Truth In Satire

15 Other Warnings President Obama Gave Donald Trump At Their November Meeting

Besides exhorting Mr. Trump not to hire Mike Flynn, the President raised additional red flags during White House tete-a-tete

President-Elect Donald Trump dozes off briefly as President Obama explains why staying awake when doing the nation’s business is so important. (Credit: KITV.com)

Former administration officials revealed Monday that President Barack Obama personally urged President-Elect Trump not to give Michael Flynn a position in his new administration’s national security team.

The former Obama insiders added that during the customary post-election meeting held in the Oval Office on November 10th, Mr. Obama told the incoming president to be mindful of other critical issues.

Here are some of the most salient, in the former president’s own words:

1. Don, there’s a ghost in the basement. From the content of his crazy rantings at night, I’m guessing it’s Andrew Jackson. If I were you, I’d sing his praises publicly right from the get-go. You don’t want to be on this ghoul’s bad side.

She may end up being Donald’s worst nightmare.

2. Promise me you won’t go turning Michele’s vegetable garden into a putting green or something equally crass. My lady can be all smiley faces and big hugs, but if you fuck with those veggies, she’s going to come down here and whoop your flabby ass.

3. See that loose board by the fireplace? Jack Kennedy left a notebook of unfinished speeches behind there. Every president since JFK has borrowed phrases from that private journal — but use only one or two sentences at a time, Don, don’t go ripping entire pages out of the book.

4. This is an old house and the walls are thin. If you fart down here in the Oval Office, it sounds like a tuba upstairs in the master bedroom. And I’ll be honest with you, Don, you look like a big time tooter.

President Trump has been warned.

5. The third step on the Grand Staircase creaks like a motherfucker. It got Bill Clinton into a heap of…