Truth In Satire

10 Other Donald Trump Pet Peeves That He Considers “An Attack On Our Country”

After calling a legal F.B.I. raid on his lawyer’s office an attack on the nation, president adds additional personal irritants to the list

Allan Ishac
5 min readApr 16, 2018


Mr. Trump says the country is under attack when he isn’t allowed to send Hillary Clinton to Guantanamo without a trial. (Credit:

President Trump apparently considers anything he doesn’t like “an attack on our country.”

This includes more than just raids on his personal lawyer’s office, peeks at his tax returns, and scrutiny of his contact with Russian agents.

Over the weekend, the president identified 10 other pet peeves that he called “not only disgraceful, but an attack on our country in the true sense.”

Here is Mr. Trump’s list of additional POTUS45-approved assaults on our nation:

  1. In a stunning display of twisted logic, the president called not supporting Russian oligarchs by letting them launder rubles in the U.S. “an assault on our nation in a very real sense.” Democrats in Congress are asking for documentation to substantiate this claim. Republicans are asking for their cut.
  2. Mr. Trump says that impeding a president’s right to have extramarital affairs is “an assault on the accepted sexist norms that have made America great.” The First Lady has her lawyers checking the legal basis for her husband’s assertion.
  3. When he is prevented from “demonstrating the full killing power of my nuclear arsenal by obstructionist generals and Cabinet members who question my authority,” the president says, “our country is under siege.” High-ranking military officials say there is no precedent for this president.

4. The president says that not hanging Hillary Clinton upside down by her ankles from the spire atop the Washington Monument “until the last breath leaves her highly-educated, overly qualified body is an affront to red state citizens everywhere.” The National Park Service has called using a national monument to inflict a cruel and unusual punishment, without due process, “highly inappropriate and blatantly…



Allan Ishac

Bestselling Author. Satirist, Humor Writer at MuddyUm and The Haven. Former advertising creative director. Visit me at