Truth In Satire
10 Impeachable Trump Offenses That Hardly Anyone Is Talking About
Obstruction of justice isn’t the worst, or most absurd, of the allegations against Donald Trump that could end his presidency
Special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation and subsequent indictments are quickly making an abbreviated Trump presidency seem more likely.
But in addition to obstruction of justice and Russian collusion charges being some of the more serious crimes leveled against the president, some lesser allegations could also end his reign of unholy terror. At the very least, they will secure his place as the dumbest, most inept, and embarrassing president in American history.
Here, then, are the 10 “lesser” impeachable offenses that hardly anyone mentions:
Using Expired Bottles of Grecian Formula Hair Dye: Mueller is investigating if expired Grecian Formula hair coloring can cause severe brain damage by leaching dangerous chemicals into the user’s gray matter. There has to be some explanation for the rapid decline of the Mr. Trump’s mental capacities and his obvious inability to carry out even the simplest duties of his presidency. Mueller has his forensic chemists looking closely at the Grecian. Verdict: Careless Product Selection/ Impeachable
Abuse of Capital Letters in Social Media Communications: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MAN THINKING ask respected experts in the proper punctuation of social media communications. Because Mr. Trump overuses and abuses capitalization in his daily tweets, he has necessarily offended the targets of those Twitter messages, primarily foreign allies and enemies, who believe him to be yelling at them. Often termed “Capitalization Humiliation” by Twitterverse experts, the president puts the nation in danger by over-capitalizing with little regard for its impact on others. Verdict: Reckless Capitalization/…
